


I Loved You Then

by nztina



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, a bit of angsty fluff, artwork collab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29297433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nztina/pseuds/nztina
Summary: Katara and Zuko finally talk after years spent apart.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 81





	I Loved You Then

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, friends. 
> 
> This is my first venture into non-Dramione writing. My good friend asked me to collab with her on a beautiful piece of art she created. You can check it out [here!](https://fghartwork.tumblr.com/post/642606222808416256/i-loved-you-then-i-should-have-kissed-you-that)

Katara paced inside her room for two hours before she finally peeked outside.

It was quiet.

Of course it was quiet. 

It wasn’t like she was expecting him to be outside her door. 

When Sokka announced that he had invited Zuko to his wedding to Suki, Katara hadn’t raised an eyebrow. When he later told her that Zuko would be arriving two weeks early, she panicked. During a wedding, Katara could avoid any direct contact with the Fire Lord and get lost in the flurry of chaos and festivity. 

She definitely couldn’t avoid him at quiet dinners with her father and brother. 

When Zuko arrived this morning, she had hidden in her room, feigning a headache. It was impolite, but she didn’t care. It didn’t matter that he was the Fire Lord. It didn’t matter that she had to represent her tribe. It didn’t even matter that they had been friends. She couldn’t be there to welcome him with her family - not when she was still hurting from what happened all those years before.

In the first year since Zuko left to take his place at the head of his nation, Katara had exchanged letters with him almost weekly. It had been difficult to be apart from a friend like him, and she was happy for the frequent correspondence. 

It gave her hope. 

Then, one day, his letter did not arrive.    


And then, three months after his final letter, she stopped writing. 

Nearly five years later, Katara had pushed down the bitter ache that remained in her heart. She hadn’t heard from him since his last letter and Sokka knew not to update her on the Fire Lord’s comings and goings. Her brother understood without need for explanation, and for that, Katara was grateful. In fact, she was almost certain there was a name ban within the palace to ensure no person spoke of Zuko in her presence.    
  
He had never loved her, but she mourned the loss all the same. 

\--

Katara’s face was burning by the time she left the dinner table; racing towards her quarters as quickly as possible. Placing a palm against her overheated cheek, she coaxed a thin sheet of water from her fingertips to cool her skin. 

It was both a blessing and a curse to have the third floor rooms to herself. They were out of the way, but there were so many staircases between the main hall and her bedroom. She was constantly out of breath. While she climbed, her mind ran untamed with thoughts of Zuko.

_ Did he have to look so handsome? _

_ Why was he alone? Where was his wife? Mai? Or someone else? Surely he was married by now.  _

_ And  _ _ why _ _ had she been unable to speak from the minute she sat down to eat?  _

Shaking her head with embarrassment, Katara climbed the last few steps to her room and pushed the door open. She all but tumbled inside, falling to her bed headfirst. 

_ Why did her heart hurt so badly when she saw him? _ _  
_

It wasn’t fair that he should be so unaffected when she was so tormented by him. Nearly six years later, and her stupid, childish crush was still haunting her. 

There was a knock on the door and she turned onto her back, scrambling into a seated position. 

“Who is it?” she croaked, wondering if one of the servants had been sent up to check on her. 

“It’s me.”

Her blood ran cold. 

She threw herself off the bed and stalked over to the door, pressing her cheek against it. 

“Zuko?”

“Yes.”

“You can’t be here,” she whispered. “My father won’t like it if you-”

“No, not like that. I just wanted to give you this.”

She heard a small shuffling and then a card was pushed underneath the door. She crouched to pick it up. 

“What is it?” 

There was no answer, and she opened the door to see an empty hallway. 

_ Main balcony, tonight.  _

Well, if that wasn’t cryptic and vague. 

She traced her eyes over his neat script; unforgettable even after years. It was ridiculous for him to write to her like this, as if he was snapping his fingers in her direction. 

As if he expected her to fall at his feet and obey his command. 

As if she would do it. 

She decided she wouldn’t go. 

\-- 

She threw a cloak over her shoulders, huffing all the way down the corridor. 

_ What time was she supposed to meet him? How would he know when to come down from his room? _

Zuko really was unbelievable. 

As she approached the balcony that opened out from the main reception area, nerves started fluttering in her stomach. All of her bravado was fizzling out of her and when she reached the hall, she was shaking. 

It wasn’t fair that he still had this effect on her. 

When she caught sight of him, his back to her as he leaned over the railing, she halted. He was taller than he had been when they last saw each other. He was broader, too. 

“Why are you just standing there?” he murmured, still not looking at her. When she said nothing in response, he sighed. “I can tell you’re there.”   
  
She found herself walking forward, her feet moving of their own volition. When she was by his side, her hands found the railing and she risked a glance to her left. He was looking at her.   


“Hello,” she squeaked. 

“Hello, Katara.”

“Why am I here, Zuko?”

“Because you didn’t even look at me during dinner tonight.”   
  
“I had a-”  


“A headache, I know.”   
  
“I  _ did _ .”   
  
He sighed again, running a hand down his face wearily. “I know you well enough to know when you’re lying to me, Katara.”   


That irritated her. “Don’t act that way,” she spat, fire burning in her belly. He frowned, looking at her with surprise.  “What?”   


“You don’t know me anymore, Zuko. We were friends a long time ago. You don’t know me and I don’t know you.”

She didn’t need the light of day to see Zuko’s hurt expression, but it was late and she was tired. She didn’t care if he was hurt. 

  
He had hurt her first. 

“I apologise,” he said, clearing his throat. “I realise that I haven’t been...present in your life for quite some time now.”   
“Quite some time?” Katara laughed in disbelief. “You stopped writing, Zuko. You disappeared!”  


“I was busy with my duties,” he mumbled, sounding ashamed. “There was no time.”

She scoffed. “I happen to know when you’re lying, too. What, did Mai forbid you from it? Or were you just tired of being my friend?”

“Mai?”

“Don’t act like I’m to blame for ignoring you today when you ignored me for all those-”

“Wait, Mai? Why would  _ Mai _ forbid me from anything?”

Katara threw up her hands, turning to face Zuko. “I don’t know, maybe because you’re with her?”

Zuko barked out a short, harsh laugh. He ran a hand through his hair -  _ it was longer now. She had the urge to chop off his top-knot with a knife _ \- in exasperation.   
  
“You really haven’t kept up with me, have you?”

“What?” she asked, suddenly feeling foolish. 

Zuko stepped closer. “Mai and I didn’t last more than a month after I became the Fire Lord.”

A flood of relief coursed through Katara’s veins but she continued, “So, who is it, then?”

“Who’s who?”

“Your wife, Zuko. Or your girlfriend, whatever”

He looked puzzled. “I’m not with anyone.”

Katara rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t be single. You’re handsome, clever, and powerful, there’s no way-” she cut herself off, reddening as she realised what she had said. Zuko’s expression of concern morphed and his mouth turned upward in a sly smile. 

“Handsome, did you say?”

She stepped back. 

“No. I misspoke.”

“You said handsome.”

“I,” she muttered, “am very tired and I was not thinking properly when I said that.”

Zuko threw her a disbelieving look, and then his frown deepened. “I’m sorry that I stopped writing.”

“Why did you?” Katara asked, relieved for the change of subject. Zuko turned back to look out at the night sky. 

They stood in silence for a minute. 

“I heard that you and Aang were planning to marry,” Zuko finally said.   
  
Katara’s eyes snapped up to look at Zuko. “What?”

In the moonlight, she couldn’t be sure, but his cheeks seemed darker. As if he was blushing. 

“There were rumours. I didn’t know for certain, but from the way things were when I left, I assumed it was true. You never mentioned him in your letters, but I thought... _ anyway _ , I felt that it was inappropriate for me to write to you when you were betrothed to another.”   
  
“I wasn’t. I’m not betrothed to anyone.”

“I didn’t know. I couldn’t ask anyone out of the blue, it would be too odd. I was under the impression that you married Aang until Sokka and I started corresponding two years ago.”

“What did my brother say?”

Zuko took a deep breath, and Katara was hyper-focused on the inch of space between their fingers on the railing. 

“He told me that you broke it off with Aang. He said you weren’t interested in the men who came to propose, either.”

“I wasn’t.”   


“He also said I was a fool for leaving with Mai.”

Silence again, and then she nodded. 

“You were.”

“Katara-”

“I thought you liked me,” she said, her voice small. “I know how stupid it sounds, but I really did think you liked me.”   


“I did.”   


“Not enough, though. Not as much as you loved Mai.”

“I didn’t love her.”   


“You  _ left with her. _ ”

A strong hand encircled Katara’s wrist, and she turned to look at him again. Some buried emotion started storming in her heart.    
  
“It was a mistake,” he whispered, raising his other hand to cup her cheek. She leaned into him for a brief moment before stiffening.   


“You could have written again.”   


He nodded. “I could have, but I was a coward. I was so afraid that you would burn my letters without reading them.”

“So you just stayed away.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why did you come here, then?”   


Zuko bit his lip, looking past Katara’s shoulder in deep thought. “I wasn’t going to. When Sokka invited me to come early, I thought it would be a mistake. But then, I spoke to Uncle Iroh and he told me I was being pathetic.”   


Katara smirked. “I always did like Uncle Iroh.”

He smiled, his thumb brushing against her cheek.   


“I decided to stop being an idiot, so I came here with the intention of telling you that I am truly sorry for hurting you.”

Katara shrugged. 

“It’s okay.”

Zuko looked at her intensely. “I  _ also _ came to right a wrong,” he whispered, inching closer.

She frowned. “What wrong?”   
  
“This.”  


Zuko leaned down, pressing his lips against hers. Katara barely had time to stifle a gasp before she was kissing him back, her arms clutching at his wrists for dear life. He pulled away too quickly, his eyes searching hers. 

“I should have kissed you that night,” he said, his voice thick. Katara nodded.

“Make it up to me now,” she replied, before her hand wrapped around the back of Zuko’s neck to pull him back to her. His tongue traced the seam of her lips and she opened her mouth to him. He kissed her with so much passion that she almost felt fire licking at her body. 

It felt right. 

After nights spent tossing and turning as she tried to fall asleep after dreams of his face; after thinking through her list of regrets; after everything they had been through together, it was right. Like they fit. 

Perfectly.

Somewhere amidst of this, Katara heard her cloak drop to the ground. Zuko bent his head to drop open-mouthed kisses along the column of her neck and down her throat. His long hair tickled her bare skin. 

Katara’s fingers worked the fastening on Zuko’s robes and they were peeled away to reveal a muscled chest. She spread her hands across his collarbones, the nagging sensibility at the back of her mind trying to push through the haze of their embrace.

“Zuko,” she mumbled, her brain foggy. “Zuko, stop.”

He immediately halted, drawing his face reluctantly from the expanse of skin above her decolletage. “What is it?”

“We can’t,” Katara breathed raggedly, trying to get a grip. “We can’t do this here. Not when anyone could find us.”

Zuko chuckled as she rested her forehead against his chest. “I think your brother might be happy about it.”   


She laughed, too. “And while I’m sure of that, I think the tribe elders might find issue with the visiting Fire Lord and the daughter of Chief Hakoda being caught in a public area with their clothes off.”

“Especially since we’re not married yet.”

Katara choked on her laugh, whipping her gaze up to look Zuko in the eyes. He looked as serious as the statement he had just made and her mouth fell open in shock.

“Zuko, we’ve barely...how are you thinking of marriage? You arrived this morning!”

His grasp on her tightened. 

“I liked you when we were teenagers,” he said, simply. “I knew that I  _ loved _ you when we wrote to each other during that year after we parted ways. Your letters were the only thing that kept me going during that time. I still reread them occasionally. Your advice aged well.”

“Zuko-”

“I loved you then, and I never stopped, Katara.”

Katara drew her fingertips across his mouth. “You never told me.”

He caught her hand, kissing her fingers reverently. “I didn’t want false hope. I thought you liked Aang.”

Katara closed her eyes, shaking her head. She felt a tear slip down her cheek. “We wasted so much time.”

“I know I’m rushing things,” he said, brushing the tear away from her chin, “but I saw you again today and it’s like we never stopped speaking. It’s like no time has passed since we parted ways.”

“I feel the same.”

“Truly?”

“Zuko, I love you.” 

It was so easy to say, because it was the truth. She watched for his reaction.

His eyes burned and his grip on her tightened. “I won’t be foolish,” he said, vehemently. “We can start by being friends again, and you can decide if you want to be more. I won’t force you into anything. We can even-”

Katara broke him off with a brief kiss. She pulled back to shake her head, smiling. 

“I don’t want to wait. You can ask my father for permission tomorrow morning.”

“You would forgive me so quickly?” Zuko asked, teasingly. She laughed, colour heating her cheeks.

“I used to hold grudges for quite a while, didn’t I?”

“You were a legendary grudge holder.”

They grinned at each other, remembering their tumultuous past. Katara breathed deeply, the weight on her chest evaporating. 

“I forgive you, Zuko. Life is too short to hold grudges, and you’re here now.”

He smiled. “That being said, I still think we should wait.” He smoothed her hair down from where it had been mussed. “I’ll return home after the wedding and let my councillors know that I intend to strengthen relations with your tribe, and then I will return to court you properly.”   


“And you’ll write when you go back?”

“I’ll write every day.”   
  
“Is that a promise?”  


“It’s a vow.” 

He sealed it with a kiss. 

\-- 

(Two months later, Chief Hakoda had to pay Sokka a hefty sum when the Fire Lord asked for permission to court his daughter. Katara stood beside Zuko, their fingers interlaced, as she explained that they had made up on the first night he arrived at the palace. Hakoda had wagered his son that it would take at least a week for the pair to sort themselves out. Sokka had bet him it would take less than a day.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
